PROJECT 3
In this project I explored Sherry Turkle’s argument in Reclaiming Conversation: The Power of Talk in a Digital Age, where she expresses that while technology facilitates communication, it also weakens our depth of conversations and empathy. I described Turkle’s description of conversation and identified the key elements to real and successful conversations. I also used two outside sources, one from our previous reading of Malcom Gladwell, and one new source from Helen Tarver. Additionally, I talked about my own experiences with technology and conversation. Finally, I talked about what we need to do to move forward in our digital age.
Anthony Lacaprucia
Professor Farley
ENG-110-H10
01 December 2024
Final Draft
In today’s society the definition of a conversation can mean many different things. For instance, rather than a face to face dialogue, a conversation today could be as simple as an exchange of a few words and emojis over text messages. In Reclaiming Conversation: The Power of Talk in a Digital Age, Sherry Turkle argues that while technology makes it easier to communicate, it also leads people to avoiding real conversations. Instead of having deep and meaningful discussions, what a true conversation is, we settle for quick connections. As a result of this, Turkle argues we are beginning to lose out on empathy. She believes we should work to change this and view conversation as a way to fight the apparent disconnect caused by technology. She encourages returning to more personal interactions that will help us to foster empathy and contribute to a healthier society (Turkle 343). Turke adds that technology leads to a
“Flight from conversation — at least from conversation that is open-ended and spontaneous, conversation in which we play with ideas, in which we allow ourselves to be fully present and vulnerable. Yet these are the conversations where empathy and intimacy flourish and social action gains strength” (Turkle 344).
Deep conversations need time and space, and we often act too busy. Even having a phone nearby can halt our conversations. To Turkle, this is a serious issue that we as a society need to solve. She states that we first must realize what is happening to conversation, and then work to bring it back. For the failing connections we are faced with today, conversation is the cure (Turkle 344).
According to Turkle, successful conversations, those which lead to empathy, are established first on an individual level. Henry David Thoreau expresses what he calls the virtuous circle, which is made up of three key points. He describes how in his cabin there were three chairs, one for solitude, two for friendship, and three for society. He argues “these three chairs plot the points on a virtuous circle that links conversation to the capacity for empathy and for self-reflection” (Turkle 347). With this Turkle argues our biggest disruption comes with the first chair, our solitude. She states we are afraid of being alone, and as a result of this, fail to pay attention to ourselves. By doing this, we lose our own authenticity in our conversations, we lose ourselves. Turkle expresses that “when we are secure in ourselves we are able to listen to other people and really hear what they have to say” (Turkle 348). Solitude enables us to build our own capacity for empathy. Once we have this capacity then the second and third chairs can effectively play their roles. The second chair, friendship, symbolizes the importance of face to face dialogue and shared experience with another person. Through this we can make a strong social connection. Finally, the third chair emphasizes the importance of how we as a society need to work towards true conversations and connections. To better connect with the world around us, we must return to conversation (Turkle 343).
On a similar note, Malcolm Gladwell agrees that face to face conversation is crucial. In Gladwell’s essay “Small Change,” he emphasizes the difference between what he calls strong and weak tie relationships and discusses how they affect the influence of a cause. Gladwell describes strong ties as personal connections whereas weak ties are connections through online social media networks. Strong ties are built on trust and accountability as those who make them are your close friends. When you have a connection with this backbone of trust you feel more obligated to whatever cause you are getting involved in (Gladwell 145). The most powerful tool we have is personal connection and camaraderie. In one study of the Germans in the east of Leipzig it was found that the more “friends you had who were critical of the regime the more likely you were to join the protest” (Gladwell 145). We need conversation to create these bonds, directly tying this all into what Turkle is trying to express. Without conversation, not only do we lose out on empathy, but we also lose out on our ability to create these strong tie friendships that can lead to societal activism.
In addition to all of this, Helen Tarver, in her article Connected Without Connection: Does Technology Make Us More Alone?, discusses how technology, particularly smartphones and social media, leads to increased isolation despite making us more “connected”. When we are in public we use technology to eliminate our boredom. People don’t feel the need to communicate with each other anymore. Tarver says “We don’t look up. We don’t engage with our surroundings and our community. We appear unapproachable and ‘busy’. And we feel lonely as a result.” This isn’t just some wild theory either, research supports this disconnect. In a study of over 20,000 adults by Cigna, found that nearly half of respondents sometimes felt lonely, and only 53% said they had meaningful face to face interactions every day (Tarver). Again this ropes right back in with Turkle, we need meaningful conversations. Our quick online connections aren’t enough anymore, we aren’t connecting. Another study found that those who used social media the most were two to three times more likely to experience perceived social isolation compared to those who used social media the least (Tarver). This is fascinating research that really disproves the whole ideology that technology is keeping us better connected.
In my own experience, I would have to agree with Turkle. I think sometimes we are truly missing out on real conversation. When hanging out with friends I have started to notice how often our phones really do come out. One by one we become fixated on our screens and become disconnected from one another, losing the conversation. It isn’t hopeless though, Turkle argues the first step to fixing our problem is recognizing it. She wants her work to become a call to action so we can begin doing what we need to be doing, having conversations again. I think the solution really is as simple as putting our phones away. I don’t just mean taking them off our tables and putting them in our pockets, I mean truly away. If our devices are powered off and in our bags they truly lose their power. If they are no longer with us they are no longer a distraction, they lose their hold on our conversations.
In conclusion, the evidence presented by Sherry Turkle, Malcolm Gladwell, and Helen Tarver showcases a troubling reality. While technology has made communication more convenient, it has simultaneously weakened the depth and quality of our conversations. Turkle’s argument that genuine conversation fosters empathy and intimacy is supported by both Gladwell’s emphasis on the power of strong personal ties, and Tarver’s findings on the isolation caused by the excessive use of social media. As technology continues to consume our society, we must recognize its impact on our ability to truly connect with others. To rebuild meaningful relationships, we need to embrace face to face conversations and create spaces for authentic dialogue, allowing for empathy to spread. As Turkle suggests, the cure for our modern loneliness lies in returning to a powerful act of conversation. Only then can we heal the growing divide between us and reclaim the connections that truly matter.
Work Cited
Gladwell, Malcolm. “Small Change.” Emerging: Contemporary Readings for Writers,
2010.
Turkle, Sherry. “Reclaiming Conversation: The Power of Talk in a Digital Age.” Emerging:
Contemporary Readings for Writers, 2010.
Tarver, Helen. “Does Technology Make Us More Alone?” The Roots Of Loneliness Project,
www.rootsofloneliness.com/does-technology-make-us-more-alone#how-technology-has-t
aken-over-our-lives. Accessed 5 Dec. 2024.
