Peer Review Reflection
I learned a lot from my peers’ responses to my writing that I would not have thought of on my own. I learned that sometimes other people notice things I might totally overlook. For example, how I could explain something more clearly or add more details to make my point stronger. Peers also suggested that I focus more on certain ideas that would make my argument more convincing.
I helped my peers by pointing out when their thesis wasn’t clear enough. I suggested changes to make their points stronger and more specific. I also tried to help them organize their ideas better so their paper would flow more logically.
Peer review is applicable to all my other subjects here at UNE and in my future career. In the classroom my peers can give me feedback on my classwork which will help me to become a better student. Within my future career the skills I learned from peer review such as the ability to take constructive criticism will set me up for success in the workplace.
I can bring what I learned by using feedback more actively in my future classes. I will be more open to suggestions from peers and professors, and use their advice to improve my work. It will also help me when I work on group projects, as I’ll know how to give constructive feedback and take it well too.
MAKE UP PEER REVIEW
Formatting: Does the paper have the following necessary formatting? (check for complete items):
| Name/class/date V Page numbers X Font type and size X Double spaced V 1 inch margins V 500/250 word minimum? (double spaced) V MLA formatted quotes/in-text citations/paraphrases V Work cited page V | If anything else is missing for formatting, add it here: |
- Identify the writer’s thesis. If the writer chose the traditional essay, did they use sources other than the book, and if not, suggest some research paths for them. If the writer chose the multimodal path, describe their piece here.
Thesis: The reading by Shirly Turkle called “The Empathy Diaries” talks about how we are missing a part of our lives because we experience life behind a screen instead of face to face.
The writer created a multimodal piece depicting “how we are missing a part of our lives because we experience life behind a screen”. It is a painting with a whited out phone and just behind the phone in the dark are hundreds of human-like shapes.
- List the writer’s evidence from the text that supports their thesis. For those writing a traditional essay, determine if their sources are credible and supportive of their claims.
1. We are so focused on our screens and using our screens as a buffer to protect us from the “real conversation” that we forget “We have each other,” (Turkle 352).
2. Turkle makes it clear in her writing that there is a time and place for screens but that when we rely on them for our main mode of communication we “speak through the machines and forget how essential face-to-face conversation is to our relationships, our creativity, and our capacity for empathy,” (Turkle 352).
- What was something the writer did well? What was their strongest point or argument? Was there a section or sentence that you really liked reading? Brag about it here.
I think the writer did a really good job with their second paragraph. I felt it did a great job at briefly explaining “The Empathy Diaries” and how it connects to their artwork.
- What point(s) did you find least effective, as in, what argument(s) could use more support from the text, outside sources, or from the writer’s own experience?
“For my final project I took what we learned throughout the semester and painted what I think Turkle was trying to work through in her writing. She seems to be insecure with her own life through the screen and is turning it outward on others. “
I think this was the writer’s least effective point just because they didn’t back it up at all. After making this statement the writer never brought it up again and didn’t have any evidence to show Turkle being insecure.
- Write a letter to the writer in which you summarize your thoughts on their work. Be specific. Use their writing to illustrate your points.
I think the writer had a strong essay describing their multimodal approach to the project. Specifically in the second paragraph I felt they used a good amount of textual evidence. I think overall however they could try to go into more detail with their writing.
